In between these two stages rests one of the most important moments of my whole life. A special pocket of time where it felt like time was slowing down; my heart and mind and soul were wide open to receiving ‘the message.’ I was at an Anthony Robbins event and eighty to a hundred people surrounded me, chanting, screaming, jumping up and down all in support of me breaking this one-inch board with my bare hand. I was one of the last and my hand was pulsing with pain from previous attempts.

You see, my board had something very important written on it. My limiting belief was written in black permanent ink in big letters: “I am not good enough.” It pained me to even read the words because of how deeply and how long I believed them.

But this was my moment. My pocket in time in front of all these people, cheering me on, to shatter this belief and never look back. And that is exactly what I did in that room, in my 22nd year of life.

Turns out, this is one of the most common beliefs in the world. When, where and why did we all get this idea that we are NOT good enough?! Not good enough for that promotion, to earn a six-figure income, for the man of our dreams, for a better relationship with our parents or siblings, for our child’s respect, for _______. Where?

Since this happened to be a critical time in my life, I’ve given MUCH thought to this concept and how it shows up in our lives. If you are just trying to be good enough for others then you are really setting yourself up for disappointment and that feeling that you are a loser and not of high value. BUT, if you challenge your thinking and ask, “Am I good enough for myself?” then you are on a whole new playing field.

When you constantly check in and ask, “Am I good enough for myself?” you will constantly grow, achieve more success and find love everywhere you go. I found myself no longer needing to be ‘good enough for a relationship.’ I was happy with who I was as an independent, successful, loving, honest woman and you know what? I attracted the partner who saw those same qualities and feel in love with me. But, had I tried to be all of those things FOR someone else, I wouldn’t have landed in the same spot.

Another example: When I asked, “Am I good enough for myself?” in business, I started becoming the best little worker bee I could be. I wasn’t in business hoping to be good enough to get clients or more sales – I wasn’t operating based on scarcity or fear mode. Instead, I became a master organizer, efficient, fast, results-oriented and ALL about my client’s success because that is how I wanted to show up for me. That is how I knew I would sleep like a champ at night and knew I was making a difference in the world. I knew the clients would pour in as a result of ME being the best person I could be.

There isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not running through the list of every single client I’ve worked with and thinking about how I can add value to their lives and their business. Just today I was thinking about a creating 3 new programs based around teaching people how to build and thrive in their online business. When we operate knowing we are constantly trying to become the best version of ourselves FOR ourselves and no one else, the whole world sees your heart and your light and is attracted to you.

So for this New Year and new beginning, I invite you to shatter your limiting belief that you are not good enough for others. Focus on asking yourself, “Am I good enough for ME?” If you work on loving yourself and respecting yourself you won’t even be able to believe all of the fortune, love and luck that comes your way.

If you thought this post was helpful, I would love your help in sharing it with your community on Facebook and Twitter. I have such a passion to help build others up and remind them of their natural beauty and gifts. Help me remind others today and for the New Year. Thank you in advance for your help and support.

In between these two stages rests one of the most important moments of my whole life. A special pocket of time where it felt like time was slowing down; my heart and mind and soul were wide open to receiving ‘the message.’ I was at an Anthony Robbins event and eighty to a hundred people surrounded me, chanting, screaming, jumping up and down all in support of me breaking this one-inch board with my bare hand. I was one of the last and my hand was pulsing with pain from previous attempts.

You see, my board had something very important written on it. My limiting belief was written in black permanent ink in big letters: “I am not good enough.” It pained me to even read the words because of how deeply and how long I believed them.

But this was my moment. My pocket in time in front of all these people, cheering me on, to shatter this belief and never look back. And that is exactly what I did in that room, in my 22nd year of life.

Turns out, this is one of the most common beliefs in the world. When, where and why did we all get this idea that we are NOT good enough?! Not good enough for that promotion, to earn a six-figure income, for the man of our dreams, for a better relationship with our parents or siblings, for our child’s respect, for _______. Where?

Since this happened to be a critical time in my life, I’ve given MUCH thought to this concept and how it shows up in our lives. If you are just trying to be good enough for others then you are really setting yourself up for disappointment and that feeling that you are a loser and not of high value. BUT, if you challenge your thinking and ask, “Am I good enough for myself?” then you are on a whole new playing field.

When you constantly check in and ask, “Am I good enough for myself?” you will constantly grow, achieve more success and find love everywhere you go. I found myself no longer needing to be ‘good enough for a relationship.’ I was happy with who I was as an independent, successful, loving, honest woman and you know what? I attracted the partner who saw those same qualities and feel in love with me. But, had I tried to be all of those things FOR someone else, I wouldn’t have landed in the same spot.

Another example: When I asked, “Am I good enough for myself?” in business, I started becoming the best little worker bee I could be. I wasn’t in business hoping to be good enough to get clients or more sales – I wasn’t operating based on scarcity or fear mode. Instead, I became a master organizer, efficient, fast, results-oriented and ALL about my client’s success because that is how I wanted to show up for me. That is how I knew I would sleep like a champ at night and knew I was making a difference in the world. I knew the clients would pour in as a result of ME being the best person I could be.

There isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not running through the list of every single client I’ve worked with and thinking about how I can add value to their lives and their business. Just today I was thinking about a creating 3 new programs based around teaching people how to build and thrive in their online business. When we operate knowing we are constantly trying to become the best version of ourselves FOR ourselves and no one else, the whole world sees your heart and your light and is attracted to you.

So for this New Year and new beginning, I invite you to shatter your limiting belief that you are not good enough for others. Focus on asking yourself, “Am I good enough for ME?” If you work on loving yourself and respecting yourself you won’t even be able to believe all of the fortune, love and luck that comes your way.

If you thought this post was helpful, I would love your help in sharing it with your community on Facebook and Twitter. I have such a passion to help build others up and remind them of their natural beauty and gifts. Help me remind others today and for the New Year. Thank you in advance for your help and support. 

If you’re a regular reader, by now you’ve heard my story of being a completely lost and depressed teen. You know the type that ate lunches along, cried most nights in bed and felt largely friendless? I had NO CLUE why these feelings of confusion and depression overcame me, or how long they would take up residence in my life, but they sure ate away at me.

From there, with a whole lotta faith and perseverance, I discovered the tools of business success in my tool box. I was 19 and attending college when I started working with a huge national marketing company. Life started to return. The recognition and achievements at my work was all I needed to start to turn my life around. Being lonely and small no longer served me – but BOY did that serve an important purpose.

I think some of the coolest times in my life were months or years after a period of lostness when the ‘ah ha’ moment finally comes, and you realize why you were so tortured.

For the past nine years I have grown tremendously in business and have literally landed my dream job – working from home coaching speakers, authors and entrepreneurs to build their online business and online platform. I get to work with the most UNBELIEVABLE, FABULOUS men and women from Abu Dhabi to Los Angeles. I attract (note key word: attract) exciting opportunities every day practically. I am living on purpose.

In my personal life, I’ve rummaged through the same lost to found journey. A rollercoaster which included being with men that totally “didn’t get it”, to a “good enough” relationship turned marriage turned divorce, to a backtracking dance, to finally saying ENOUGH!

It was 14 months ago that I picked up my belongings and pets and took a 2-week trip to Tucson (within an hour of getting the idea) and spent that time having my own rushed “Eat Pray Love” experience. I decided I would no longer sacrifice me to be in a relationship. I was going to use my voice, I was going to be balanced, I was not going to lose myself in another ‘ok’ relationship that I secretly knew – but wouldn’t admit it out loud – was not right.

I drive back from my trip feeling serious and strong, but also a little scared. I avoided the thoughts of, “Well, what if you’re alone?” Trust.

Wouldn’t you know it… just days later I went to a pumkin carving contest party that my best girlfriend of seven years was hosting with her boyfriend, and there he was. My nickname for him was Firefighter Jason and I can tell you fourteen months later that he is every single thing I asked for when I took that “leap” and went to Tucson for 2 weeks. I am living on purpose.

So, how does one skyrocket their personal and business success?

How can you go from where you are to where you want to be? Where you DESERVE to be?

I will tell you what has worked for me and I would invite you to give it a whirl for a month and see what can unfold in your life.

First, I live on purpose. Gone are the days that I just wake up and see what happens and hope it all works out ok. If I am unhappy in an area of my life, I do the work to figure out why I’m unhappy about it. If I decide that thing (work relationship, friend issue, bad eating habits!, etc.) is no longer serving me, I exit, but with integrity and authenticity. If it can still serve me, I work on fixing it. Doing the work to face your fears, own your faults, and celebrate your gifts – that is a huge part to gaining mountains of success and happiness in your personal and professional life.

Second, I take the word “gratitude” more seriously than any other word I can think of right now. This word is thrown around a LOT these days for a reason! Every night when I’m in bed (especially when I am restless or struggling to fall asleep) I take count of all of my blessings. I really FEEL the thanks I am giving for my wonder, amazing clients, my family, my friends, my beautiful house, my relationship, my dog, anything that comes to my heart. I sleep so well the moment I start this process and it warms my heart each time. I know for a FACT this is a main reason I keep attracting more of what I desire. I just know it.

Third, I live with awareness and consciousness. When you are aware and conscious, you see clearly when you are overstepping bounds, when you are needed or not, when you should enter or exit a situation. It feels a lot like going with the flow to be honest. You become more in tune to the needs of others, then when you fulfill that, tremendous reward follows. Being aware in my relationship allows me to be the best partner in crime I can be. Being aware for my clients leads to a great retention rate and to lots of word of mouth business. It just goes on and on…

If you found this post to be inspirational or useful, please help me share it with the world. Let’s get the ball rolling and help as many people as we can! Thank you in advance for your thoughtfulness.

I heard a study that only 9% of people polled in the US are earning the same amount or more income that the previous year – everyone else was making less or jobless. This is very concerning to me and makes me question what people are thinking and feeling. I wake up and see the latest news announcements about how the world is in a very delicate economic state and how we might be headed for a major hit. Company stocks are plummeting which gives us FEAR, families are living on a shoestring budget and feeling STRESS, and relationships are experiencing TENSION due to all the pressures we face.

Yep, this is the way I see the majority thinking and it makes me want to put on my Super Woman cape on and save the world.

I have prided myself on taking the road less traveled, especially in the past year. As I reflect on where I was a year ago, compared to where I am today – in relationship, career, friendships, love – I see a HUGE difference. My business has DOUBLED in growth, I have never been closer and happier with any relationship partner, I’m closer with my friends and family – even the air smells more rosey!

Do you know what is entirely responsible for this change? My focus, intention and perception.

I do not buy in to the fear that our news and chatter projects. If Greece falls, and the Euro falls and Asia is hit and the US is in trouble…. living in fear will do nothing but create more opportunity for fear in my life.

Instead, if I choose the road less traveled – if I step into the minority – I can choose to “hear” the news, but not let it affect my behavior or life choices. I can focus on building my business instead of being scared that more business might not come due to the economy. I focus on the kindness I see in people instead of focusing on the guy that is unaware and cut me off in traffic.

It is not that I’m being unrealistic or fru fru. It is that I make a conscious choice to be in balance, to live for today, to make the very most out of my life and live up to my highest potential.

This is not a new concept. It’s the Law of Attraction, Staying in the Now, the Power of Positivity. It required, what felt like, a tremendous effort to stay focused on the right things at first. Once I conditioned my mind (just like you condition your muscles when you work out) it became a breeze. I have a “character building” day maybe once every two or three months. Not to say I don’t experience temporary pockets of frustration or stress – that’s human! – but I do not let it last all day and affect mt relationships with the people around me.

Today onward, I invite you to make the conscious choice to stay focused and make your situation better. Whether that means giving your relationship partner a break instead of having a conversation about ever little thing. Whether that means changing your perception and knowing that upset client isn’t attacking YOU, but looking for a different outcome. Whether that means no longer charging your credit card for items you don’t need with the focus of paying down your debts. It is a conscious choice and daily effort. One that I have taken very seriously every day and the positive outcome of my life is proof-positive this idea works!

Take a stand and commit to create a better life circumstance. If you’re with me, please share this post with as many people as possible. Share the love.

Here is the poem that came through…

“I will always love you” he said to me,
But I did not listen, I did not believe.
Why am I here, where is my home?
Surrounded by people, I feel so alone.

“You are never alone” he said to me,
But I did not listen, I chose not to believe.
I searched and I searched, but it was all in vain.
I sat down defeated, numb with the pain.

“You have but to look inwards” he reminded me,
I struggled to listen, could I believe?
Then I heard him whisper “I live in your heart”,
I felt myself tremble, when he said we’d never part.

I feel myself open to this wonderful truth.
A great heaviness leaves me I no longer seek proof.
I accept his promise and clearly I see,
All I had to do was let go and be free.

Now at the bottom of this mountain,
With Him I shall climb,
Joyfully, I realize,
I have been home the whole time.

I then fell asleep only to read it the next day, wondering where it came from.

Now for a bit of my history, I was adopted at one years old and then proceeded to go through sexual abuse and a host of other traumas for many years. I thought something was dreadfully wrong with me and I grew up very fearful. No one knew what was happening because I could not tell them. Grandpa used to have a knife sitting on his desk and he would say “don’t tell or grandpa will hurt you.” I was terrified. It came out loud and clear in my behavior though, but I just got in trouble for it.

At 16 I started to have severe panic attacks which led to full blown agoraphobia, the result being the failure of the 11^th grade. I did not finish high school. I asked for help and was sent to a psychiatrist who put me on terrible medication that I got hooked on and I ended up in the psych ward, a horrible experience, for 5 days because of it. This led to a 27 year cycle of various medications, because all any doctor could see was something wrong with me. Even through all of this, I resisted the labels and the drugs and knew some day I would be free.

I managed to stay away from the typical pitfalls of drugs and alcohol and other trouble. I Knew I had enough to deal with. At the right time, the right people were put in front of me and I began the process of self inquiry. I was tired of the role of victim and placing blame everywhere else. I made it through 2 bouts of cancer, fibromyalgia and a lupus diagnosis. All were emotionally related. I did not get chemo or radiation and I told the doctor I would not do it. I knew what it was connected to, unhealed trauma.

Through all of this I managed to realize a dream of completing college, being a hospice volunteer which comes with it’s own incredible stories, getting myself into excellent physical condition which the doctor said led to a remission of the fibromyalgia and lupus, and started my own business in 1999 doing geese control with a trained bald eagle and a dog. I had been doing falconry as a hobby since I was 18. Many said it would not work. I am still doing it. I went through a divorce, left everything and moved to BC from Ontario. I had no job lined up and no place to live. It all just unfolded in front of me. I knew I had to come out here to heal and “find myself”. Guess what I learned.

One never has to find one’s ‘self’ as there is no ‘self’ to find. Who is it that was ever lost and who is it that needs to be found? These questions lead to a profound shift in the mind. “Who am I really, beyond all thoughts, perceptions, beliefs and feelings?”

Almost three years ago I met the love of my life and am now remarried. It is just incredible and a miracle how it has all unfolded. I have shared my story with my eagle beside me through many public presentations and it is always so well received and an inspiration. We are all pointers for “The way” to each other, but we have to find our own path, our own way, home. What is home, but remembering the truth of who we really are and thus healing the divide and conflict within. One person can indeed change the whole world. When I change how I perceive the world, then my world changes. I then live my life from that space and can affect everyone and everything in a positive way. I would not have to say anything or convince anyone of anything. Everyone would be fee to be exactly as they are whatever that is. I have now set the world free from the prison of my own mind.

A beautiful thing.

It is very easy to slip into the role of victim here and point your finger at them in judgment. So let that be our first example of a route you could go down. It wouldn’t be that difficult to talk about them behind their back, stew in private and write them off.

I personally believe this would catch up to you. I am the person who believes, “treat others the way you would want to be treated” – I’m extremely patient – and arguably too forgiving (if that is possible). I constantly remind myself ‘we are only human’. We are capable of pissing some people off, breaking promises, lying, cheating, gossiping, etc. We are also capable of expressing our love and appreciation as often as we want, staying faithful, doing good deeds, forgiveness, trusting in others, not judging, etc.

That is where our loneliest spot on Earth exists – the spot where we can choose. I can’t nudge into that spot with you to help you out. Your parents and friends can’t. That spot is only for you and you can choose any reaction or course of action you want! Knowing all the while that you are the only one that will have to live with yourself for whichever decision you make.

If you decide not to speak with a family member ever again, ok. If you decide to go to college when everyone else in your family didn’t, ok. If you decide to stay in a relationship that fulfills you or not, ok. Others may make passing judgment, but you will inevitably live with your own judgment until you take the difficult road of rectifying the situation.

All that said, I am advocating you take a step back from the situation and really think about it before reacting. Take a few days if you need to. Think if you did do anything to cause this person to disappoint you. We all have a role. Is this person important to you? Have they shown up for you before? Why did this hut you so badly? Ask as many questions as you can think of. Only then can you logically work out the core issues and figure out what your best course of action is from here. Most often, we are disappointed because we had high expectations. Sometimes people just do hurtful things (but they almost never do it intentionally).

Another thing to consider in moment of decision… Can you imagine what the other person will feel like, or how they will react, to your next actions? I do not make a decision based on this, but I do think about it.

Once I feel I’ve really looked at the situation from all angles and perspectives, I may even phone a friend or family member and ask advice. This is normal when this is a major disappointment and there are strings attached. I’m not sure what to do or if I’m ready to separate myself from the situation. When seeking counsel try your hardest to listen objectively. Take what all sides say, then really think about which parts feel true to you.

After carefully reviewing the whole situation I’ll react. That could mean I send a letter agreeing with the breakup, but thanking them for the good times. I could react by letting the person know they really hurt my feelings with x decision or comment and I had to let them know in hopes of finding common ground once more. There are a million different routes we can go down.

I just try to be fair, always come from my highest truth and lead by example. If I do those 3 things, at the end of the day, I know I did my best. I did the right thing. And the other chips will fall where they may.

We cannot be all things to all people all the time. But we can stand up for what we believe in. We can admit fault. We are human.

Have you experienced a shift lately? Where you feel anxiety, a little lost, and mostly frustrated? If you have, today’s post is to tell you you’re not alone. I have clients and mentors all feeling like they are hanging on by a thread. At times, I’ve even used the analogy that it feels I’m being tossed under the ocean by a wave. At moments throughout each day I get to swim to the top and take a big breath, but then I’m smacked by another wave. It’s not to say I’ve been unhappy – not at all! – but I’ve felt an enormous sense of pressure and frustration. Come to find out, I’m far from alone.

There’s no news here that the world as we know it is changing. We’ve heard the 2012 scare – the end of the world. We’ve been pumped with fear – thanks media. We’ve been working overtime to protect our pure hearts, our loving families who have saved us time and time again during fearful spurts, and protect our futures the best we can. It is ok to acknowledge and talk about what’s really going on inside of that head and heart of yours.

In the old days (pre-whatever this time is), we held our heads high and didn’t really talk about our financial issues or our fears. We sort of stuffed that down and put on a “I can’t do it all” face. Ah how times have changed. If you are still in that mode of trying to hold everything up solo, you must be exhausted by now! It has become almost impossible to hold it all together, all the time (in fact find me one person who has!). This should become a relief to you. You’re not alone.

We are being humbled. We are seeing what truly matters. We are getting closer to our communities.

You may have realized you can’t do everything all by yourself – at least not the way you could before – but now we are seeing a shift into a “collaborative era“. As time goes on you’ll more adapt the idea that two heads are better than one. And while two people need to “split the profit”, you’ll gladly accept that fact in exchange for the peace of mind and heart you’ll get by sharing responsibilities.

Collaboration also means we are coming together to solve problems and offer solutions. The point is, we must get over old ideas and adapt to the new feelings that spur up inside us. If you are feeling scared, don’t tell yourself you need to toughen up. Ask a friend for help and then you will feel better naturally.

Other things to consider to “lighten your load” during heavy times:

• Clean out your Inbox. If you subscribe to a bunch of lists or get a hundred spam emails a day it IS adding to your stress. At the bottom of each email there’s an unsubscribe link. Click those suckers and you’ll feel the weight melt away…

To read the rest of this post, click here…

I fear we are paying attention to our debts, our never-ending stack of work, our fears over the “end of the world” scares, our stresses that there is never enough time, how tired our bodies feel. It is easy to get stuck in a thought pattern like this because the reality is, we are simply overwhelmed with the changes of the world. We are learning to adapt to a new way of living. And “adapt”, we must do.

On May 21 I held a birthday party for some close friends and family. I told everyone I did NOT want any gifts – that was not what the party was about. It was about community, pulling people out of that “thought cycle” and allowing everyone space to enjoy themselves. We played in the pool, talked in the sun and grilled burgers. I looked around many times and thought, “This is the life.”

What was interesting to me is that 4 people were about to cancel last minute. They had “so much going on they didn’t think they could slip away.” We can all relate. It’s funny because they all individually told me, “but we just couldn’t allow ourselves to do that – it’s Amber we’re celebrating.” Of course my ego felt all good about it, but more, those people took a moment to truly “stop”. The stress they felt wanted to keep them on this hamster wheel. The love in their hearts overpowered and allowed them to enjoy the weather and conversation at this wonderful party.

My point is when we are distracted, we often miss what’s happening all around us. If you are clear and paying attention “in the present” it is THE most incredible experience. Time slows down. Color is brighter, scents are stronger, we can hear everything. We can hear our intuition and desires. We can know what is right and wrong. We can show up for people the way we are meant to. Life happens in the present.

I’d like to invite you now to watch a very short snippet from one of my favorites films, Peaceful Warrior. Nick Nolte plays a sort of spiritual mentor to a very accomplished young adult named Dan who is holding himself back from being his greatest self…

Once the awareness comes in that maybe there is resistance, we ask ourselves why is it so hard to do the smallest of tasks? Where is that coming from? Am I sabotaging myself from reaching my goals and what I truly want out of life? What can I do to get rid of this blockage?

These are tough questions to ask oneself. To look inward and fight for your life essentially. I honor your strength to find the answers to these questions.

I encourage you to think of this “stop and go” experience in a new perspective today. Visualize yourself standing in front of a great, tall door frame. There is no “door”, just the frame. You stand in front of this door frame knowing everything you want is on the other side – that relationship, that new job, peace – whatever it is. You want it so badly.

The few inches of space surrounding the door frame represents all of the fear, anxiety, depression, confusion – every emotion that comes up when you “stop”. This “door frame” is just framing your resistance. I usually imagine it as almost a slight haze to where I can see the vibrancy of my desires on the other side, but it’s sort of clouded by this haze.

Then there’s you, standing before this frame. Can you picture it?

The million dollar question is … what does it take to get to the other side?

Some experts will say things like, “It takes a plan – a serious plan you MUST stick to” or, “You must improve who you are, change your bad habits and grow into the person you are meant to be!”  :-/

I have a different answer and it’s one I think it worth a million bucks.

Q. What does it take to get to the other side?
A. It takes picking up your foot and taking one step forward, over the door frame, into the other side.

Some of you may get upset at that answer. After all, we all have a habit of over-complicating everything. But, I swear to you it really can be that easy. You don’t need a 30 day plan. You don’t need to work yourself to death to change. You just need to take that one step forward.

I’ve stood in front of this doorway dozens of really scary and difficult times in my life. But you know what? One day I realized the secret I just shared with you. I trusted and I took that step forward. Guess what?? It worked! Then the next time I was faced with a challenge, I pictured that doorway. I resisted and resisted – completely torturing myself – until one day, I remembered the secret. I then took a step and before I knew it I was through to the other side. I swear to you this works and it forever changed my life!!

Next you may ask, but what does it mean to take a step? You’ve heard that famous quote by Confucius, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” It’s anything that gets you one step closer to your goal. Picking up that phone when it’s hardest, setting up that appointment or meeting, running an errand you’ve procrastinated on. Taking action.

It is the mental hurdle you are battling – by visualizing your taking the step through the haze into the other side of that door frame, you will pick up that phone and make that call. Before you know it, you’ve started this chain of events that all collectively work toward achieving your goal.

Years ago, I felt that resistance for months and months (sometimes years!). Now I recognize it within a few days to a couple weeks. Then I laugh out loud as the realization comes in, “Oh! I’m at that door again!” Then I laugh as I visually jump through that door way and never look back.

People tell me all the time how they can’t believe how wise I am, or how much I’ve accomplished for my young age. It’s all because I am like an efficiency windup doll. I always want to know the fastest way to achieve a goal – and NO shortcuts, ever! I applied that idea to my emotional experiences and my personal growth. I am shaving years of depression and confusion off my life all because of this idea of taking a step. What could it do for you?